Tuesday, September 3, 2019

Easy Dating Tips: Go Take a HIKE!

Easy Dating Tips for Getting More Dates: Go Take a HIKE!

Singles want it to meet other quality professional single men and women. Modern singles want to make it simple to meet others. They’re looking for easy dating tips they can incorporate readily into their daily lives. If you’re a physically active single who enjoys an active lifestyle, you likely get out readily, taking walks in nature. Well, while you go take a hike, be sure to look for love at the same time! Read on to discover ….
  • Where to locate local hiking groups
  • How to maximize your hiker’s efforts to meet more singles easily in daily life!
Well, it’s Monday morning.

Easy Dating Tips Hike: But First, Coffee!


Have you made your coffee yet?
Ok, so I DO believe in being frugal and not going OUT and buying a cup of coffee every day.  So normally I am making a pot of coffee at home.
HOWEVER!  If you are single and you haven’t been on a date this weekend….
Or you DID go on dates this weekend and there really aren’t going to be any date #2s of out these….
then you could go to a coffee joint and get some coffee in a public place.  Put this in your dating budget.  You have one, right?
So!  You’ve tried EVERYTHING!  You’ve EXHAUSTED all of your resources around you?  You’re friends – marrieds and singles have no more friends or acquaintances with which to fix you up.
And you’re still not engaged.
Now what?
Go hiking!
Look up for your metro area all the hiking clubs. There are a ton of different local hiking groups in most areas cited over at Meetup. Go ahead and join them all and get a feel for the tone of each group. What kind of hikes do they host? Are the other hikers friendly? Are they all just super serious hikers seeking the greatest hiking challenges? Or are they, indeed, members of an activity group in order to share the activities with others and mingle at the same time? What age group shows up for which walks and which hikes?

Best Times and Days:

The groups with the most Meetup sessions will often offer at least 1 or 2 weekday or weekday evening casual hike in nearby park, seasons and weather permitting. Often the scheduled hikes with the best turn out is on Saturday morning. There’s the opportunity to take the hike and then to meetup casually afterwards for a light bite to eat and a coffee. Venues like Starbucks in the back offer a perfect casual and comfortable lounge seating area where you can pull cushy chairs together to kibbitz, nibble on a pastry, and sip your morning brew.

Ways to Locate a Singles Friendly Hiking Group: Easy Dating Tips for a Hike

 

Don’t Just Going Hiking, Get Acquainted with Your Fellow Hikers

This really is a great easy dating tips hike option.
What churches in your area meet for a monthly hike?  Get on their email list.  Better still, pick up the PHONE and talk to the leader.
Most of the groups cite a primary contact person and their phone and email. Reach out to them and practice your proactive social skills so when you’re in-person it’s even easier.
Introduce yourself.  “I’m Bob, I’m 33 and quite fit.  Are there different fitness levels in the group?  That’s OK?  Good.”
  • Sierra Club Hikes or Tours
  • Absolute Adventures
  • Go Google athletic and adventure clubs in your metro area.
Place an ad in Craig’s List [More likely to use Meetup now.] looking to form a hiking group of singles.  Arrange to meet for breakfast at iHop, Denny’s or your favorite local coffee shop first so you all gaggle, socialize and feel safe with each other, and then go for a hike.
Check out the training classes at REI, Northface or the local outdoors outfitter store near where YOU live.
Feeling in a rut?Here’saneasy dating tips hikeoptiontogetunstukfroyourrut

Take a Hike Locally AND Regionally

Now shift 10 miles north.  Or 25 miles east.  Or 37 miles south.
Expand your radius just a little so you stretch yourself.
Plan a trip to get away and just GO SOMEWHERE different. Some of the established hiking groups at Meetup hike not just in 1 or 2 towns, but in a whole county. Secondarily, they sponsor some longer and more challenging hikes which might require a bit of a drive. Look to do those hikes, too, if you’re up to the physical demands.


Dater’s Mindset Application:

Once you’ve established sufficient interpersonal interactions that you feel safe with others, don’t just drive to the destination alone and waste all of that driving time! Be eco-friendly and green as you go! Carpool with 1 or 2 others. Aim for a small enough group that meeting somewhere nearby to drive in 1 vehicle is workable. Also, aim to keep the group small enough to foster getting better acquainted with a few people. Those friendships, despite the erroneous fear of the friendship zone, often serve as the interrelatedness necessary for the firm foundation of connection and not just chemistry for long term love relationships. Build relationships with others in the hiking group. You never know where romance will spring from.

Happy Dating and Relationships,
April Braswell
America's Midlife Dating Coach
After 40 Love Mentor for Women Dating After Divorce

 

Saturday, June 8, 2019

Feng Shui for Romance Tips: Magnetize a Mate

Tips from Feng Shui to Boost Your Romantic Life

Feng Shui Advice for your Romance Sector


Whether or not you fully believe in the ancient wisdom of Feng Shui, or you just find the application of the principles to beautiful, peaceful, and eye-appealing, here is some great advise for anyone wanting a significant romantic intimate relationship in her life leading to marriage.  Here’s some advice on how to apply Feng Shui for Romance tips in your house or apartment.

Make room for it.

When you are seeking to apply Feng Shui for Romance tips in your home, first you must think, “I need to make ROOM for another person.”



Many of us ladies, including myself, tend towards being clutter queens.  If you desire to apply principles of Feng Shui for Romance in your home environment, this DEFINITELY inhibits the development of the romantic and intimate relationships which we so greatly desire.  We have whole websites and books dedicated to helping us become better domestic mavens.  FlyLady is an excellent free resource.  I love them.  I need all the help I can get. The principles of Feng Shui are just one more marvelous help for us as we seek fulfilling romantic relationships.



We need to declutter, and declutter, and declutter to make ROOM for another in our lives. When I work with my Dating and Romantic Relationship clients, I ask them about their bedrooms.  What is the state of them? Is this a room where men want to come in and be sensually romantic and intimate with you?  Does it invite romance and sensuality?

Start with your Bedroom to Apply Feng Shui Tips and Advice to Promote and Enhance Romance

Is Your Bedroom Inviting for a Sensually Intimate Romantic Relationship?
Your bedroom is the center of ROMANCE in your house or apartment. This is where you will both be resting and romping in the sheets.  You hope to share sensual intimacy here.  OK, let us be real.  You hope to have LOTS of it here.  I hope the same for you, too.  Lots and lots of sensuality.  So, is your bedroom inviting for romantic sensual play and connection?



Is your bed large enough for two to sleep and play comfortably?  I’ve heard of couples sleeping on a FULL bed.  I hope neither of them rolled over much.  Personally I’d recommend either a QUEEN size or KING size bed.  With men over 6 feet tall generally prefer the KING size beds.  There is also then room to sprawl.  Some adherents of Feng Shui don’t recommend a KING size bed because it is really 2 single beds in the Box Spring area.  But since we are already two becoming one here, I think it works.



Next, what about the state of your sheets?
Has anyone else seen them for awhile?
What about the quality of your sheets?
Is it perhaps time to upgrade them?

You can get really good deals these days just about all year around.  However, the traditional White Sales months are January and August.  Be sure to check out high quality Egyptian cotton sheets during those months and perhaps add another set to your linen closet.



You want to go for beautiful and restful colors.
  • Plums
  • Merlot
  • Navy
  • Earth Tones
  • Soft greens
  • Blues
  • Butter cup yellow
  • Soft pink
  • Lilac
  • Lavender
Avoid super bright colors on your sheets as color does affect our sleep and our ability really to rest.  We need to REST here (as well as all of those other fun activities you’re hoping to engage in here in your play pen).

Natural Fibers really ARE best.

Additionally, aim for high quality cotton sheets.  That is measured by a high thread count number.  Polyester blends may be a better fit with your budget.  I understand.  However, you really WILL feel the difference.  In fact, my face becomes inflamed from some polyester blends. The higher the thread count of the cotton, the better.  Indeed, Egyptian cotton is best.  Dreamy fabulous best!

If you live in a very cold climate, add blankets preferably in wool. Some people find this too itchy and may need to add fleece blankets.  That’s OK.  As with all the principles of of creating a wonderful life partner relationship, go with what works for you, your climate, and your preferences, ultimately.  It’s about what helps you to create the best life partner relationship for YOU.

Then add a feather down quilt with duvet. Some people are allergic to down.  That’s fine.  You can often find some very warm alternatives.  The duvet cover makes for a beautiful finish to your bed.  Here you can add some elements of color.

During the Spring and Summer months, the quilt may provide too much warmth to be comfortable.  In which case, simply add a cotton coverlet.  Here you can use different colors which reflect the colors of Spring and Summer.  Maybe some floral patterns?



Another way to introduce sensual texture and eye-appealing color is with pillows.  Think Eyelet Lace pillows.  Some with delicate faggoting.  And then behind those, place pillows featuring a color.  A little bit of red, coral, or pink to bring in Romantic color elements can be quite beautiful here.

Be careful about placing really bright colors or lots of red into your bedroom as they are aggressive colors and are just too much for a restful and romantic roomSmall touches of red are good for the bedroom.  A small red velvet heart shaped pillow.  A smattering of small red votive candles.



In the bedroom, leave plenty of space for air and sunshine to fill your room.  At night, have a window open to let plenty of life-giving fresh air into your room for your best and most restful sleep.  When I leave in the morning, I will even leave a window or two open to let some cross ventilation of air come in along with making sure the blinds are open to let in the sunshine and enlivening Yang energy while I am gone for the day.

Some elements to leave out of your bedroom:
  • TV
  • Large Electronics
  • The Computer
OK, ok. I know. I live in Silicon Valley. For some couples here, the laptop IS coming into the Bedroom. That’s ok. Just remember to turn it off and perhaps even go place it back in your office or living room before you go to bed. Because once you are in there, baby, it’s candle light, shimmering fairy lights, soft light enhancements, romance, communication, intimacy, mutual seduction and sensuality.

Do you really want to compete with Survivor for attention here? Oy! I’m the pretty one, remember? Words to live by. If he’s watching TV or would rather be watching TV in the bedroom with you, we have bigger problems. Either it is time for NEXT! Or we need a serious injection of copulins to stimulate his testosterone. Some Victoria’s Secret or La Perla might also help to spice things up. I’ve even seen fabulous lingerie ensembles for sale at Nordstrom and Bloomingdale’s. Sensual lingerie is available at a number of different price points and stores.



On Saturday days before DATE NIGHT, I make a point of closing the door to my bedroom, isolating it, and lighting candles in there. Several candles. In Feng Shui principles this is the precious element of FIRE. FIRE is good for romance and passion for your sensuality. Additionally, I feel it creates a magnetically romantic and sensually sexual attractive energy in the room. I keep the door closed to keep the energy in contained in my bedroom and avoid diffusing all of that precious energy build up. It’s like seductive anticipation. You don’t even need to invite anyone there later that night. Just having it creates an energy of sensual magnetism and works on your own unconscious mind’s emanating allure!

The principles of Feng Shui also recommend adding pairs of furniture and figures to your bedroom to reflect auspicious romantic relationship energy. Traditional Chinese Feng Shui recommends pairs of Mandarin Ducks. They recommend Pairings. You do not need to follow that if your room does not have a lot of Asian motifs to it. Pairs of kissing angels. Bride and Groom images. Pair of Swans, a bird who mates for life. These are all good for more contemporary Western styles of interior design. If there is something like those from your particular heritage and ethnicity, aim for using those.

Happy Dating and Relationships,

April Braswell

Click here to apply to have April to review and rewrite your internet dating profile, using trusted PayPal for your purchase of the service and she will be in touch via email to schedule coaching times and email you the workbook for you to complete for writing your great dating site profile.



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Thursday, May 23, 2019

3 Steps for Baby Boomers: How to Start Dating After Divorce or Widowed

3 Beginner's Steps to Returning to Dating Again After Your Divorce or Being Widowed

OK, so one of the most common characteristics of single Midlifers is we are either dating again after divorce or the death of a spouse. Certainly, as a group there is usually a need to Prepare the Wall before painting with Divorce Recovery Support or Grief Support work in the Grief Recovery® first before Painting the House in Dating Again.


I share from personal experience here having both married and getting widowed in my mid-late 30s. I found I needed emotional support, not just the talking and thinking about it approach that traditional Talk Therapy provides.



The Grief Recovery® Method folks and their books were the most helpful in healing my heart which helped to make me ready to seek new love again in my 40s. I mention that book in particular because reading it and doing the exercises indeed where a massive help. It addresses the emotion of Grief, not only thinking about it.

When Your Return to Dating Again After Your Divorce or Being Widowed: Take Baby Steps to Date and Return to the Singles Scene

Once the Surface is Prepared, it is great to start painting your house: Get Out on More Dates. Just aim to venture back in slowly and gently. Think baby steps into the shallow end of the pool before jumping off the high dive into the deep end with big ticket dates or Saturday night dinner plus entertainment dates.

Focus First on your social life and rewarming up your social and interpersonal skills.



Indeed, studies show time and again that the majority of married people met their spouse via people they knew in common. Through friends, through common associations, through mutual acquaintances and getting set up by friends and family.

So, what is the number one behavior which will then increase your chances of meeting your new love?

Dating After Divorce BABY STEP 1: MEET MORE NEW PEOPLE

It will depend on the nature of your metro area for how easy it is to do that and what sort of events happen regularly which you can attend. You want to do things like take out your local print newspaper and look at the weekly calendar of events and choose a few each week simply to sample.

Don't worry. When you're just taking baby steps to get back out there again, the simple act of just going opens and softly stretches new neuropathways and warms up your social interpersonal skills muscles.

You want to combine a mix of events which are sort of a group association - like a Salsa Dancing or Classical Ballroom Dance group which meets regularly - with one off events which you attend only periodically. Be on the lookout for smaller attendance groups and events which offer an easy way and ambiance to break the ice and actually make conversation with new people.



Avoid attending massive scale attendance events like amphitheater open air concerts expecting that as a novice you would be able to meet and do social mingling with new people. Those events can be enjoyable to attend with your existing social circle, but it typically requires greater interpersonal social skills than you have just out of the gate first returning to dating again into the singles social scene. Aim for appropriate expectations and events which foster social interpersonal mingling.

Dating Again BABY STEP 2: ASSOCIATIONS and GROUPS

Associations and group can be your community, your tribe. With that, they are a terrific way to baby step you way back onto the local singles scene. Associations and Groups often do have a primary purpose of associating for singles to meet. However, that is not their only purpose. One of their core purposes is to foster casual and comfortable socializing. So, you can participate, attend, and belong all at a low key level.

It's minus the scrutiny and pressure of prom.

You want to attend these regularly, just don't let it be your only resource.  These associations and groups - dance groups, singles groups, Bible Study/Church groups - can often become a bit insular.  Sometimes new people attend their events.  Sometimes only the same people have been attending for months.

I know of some singles groups which cite themselves over at Yahoo Groups as well as Meetup. You can take a look at past events at some and in the group comments to get a feel for who goes regularly. Just know, not everyone who RSVPs to the event actually shows up. Secondarily, some folks attend the events and never cite their participation online. Looking at the online interaction can give you a feel for things, but it's not 100% accurately reflective of the group and their events.

Note 2019: Now Yahoo Groups is less used and more free listings for social groups would more likely be cited at Facebook.

Even if they tend to attract the same people all the time, for you, they will all be new. Endeavor to attend such groups even if you're not a member of that denomination or haven't been to church since high school. Most singles groups are welcoming to new people. You can both stretch your social circle - always a good thing - as well as meet possible potential dates for you. Truly, you never know.
Be sure to freshen your appearance and your put on your positivity mindset before you head out the door. Go with a light heart and program your RAS Reticular Activating System by taking out a little Sticky Note and writing out the simple goal of meeting and interacting with 5 new people and having a good time. Then when you enjoy yourself and meet actually 7-10 new folks, you'll reinforce your positive brain filter mindset and socializing behavior.

Do attend such events, just not exclusively.

After you've looked through your Events Calendar, and there are ones available online as well, just the ones featured in your Local Print Version Newspaper are often better established, so you can rely on their being there.

BABY STEP 3: SPECIAL OCCASION EVENTS

Often a Special Occasion is observed by a series of public events. They are really sort of one off.
  • St. Patrick's Day.
  • Gay/Lesbian Pride cocktails parties.
  • Art Gallery openings.
  • Scotch Tastings.
  • Pinot Noir Tastings.
  • Memorial Day BBQs.
Do join a handful of social Meetup groups. Just aim to attend those which host smaller scale events offering a great social mixer opportunity.
The first few ones you attend, you might want to see if a single friend would accompany you. This isn't so much for being your PUA tactics wingman or wingwoman. This is for social and emotional bolstering while you're first socializing again with new people and getting into groups which are, at least on some level, citing themselves as singles groups.
Because of that self-identification, it can feel a little more like middle school and spin the bottle. Eek! Everyone knows and is watching!
Once you're socializing again and filling up your weekly social calendar with new interpersonal mingling events, you'll regain your personal comfort, poise, and agility in doing so and find yourself venturing into new territories regularly. Once that's the case, you'll return to dating again in no time at all.
Happy Dating and Relationships!
April Braswell
Marriage Minded Singles Dating Expert and Relationship Coach
As seen in Dating for Dummies, 3rd Edition
April Braswell is an expert columnist at DatingAdvice.com and speaks to singles in Singles Groups and Divorce Support Groups as well as at Singles Dating Workshops and Singles Conferences in Orange County CA Life Coach April Braswell, LA and San Francisco.

Best Orange County CA Life Coach April Braswell. Life & Business Coaching in Newport Beach right by the juncture of Costa Mesa, and Irvine.top 3

Orange County CA Life Coach April Braswell. Life & Business Coaching in Newport Beach right by the juncture of Costa Mesa, and Irvine.

Orange County CA Life Coach April Braswell. Life & Business Coaching in Newport Beach right by the juncture of Costa Mesa, and Irvine.

Orange County CA Life Coach April Braswell. Life & Business Coaching in Newport Beach right by the juncture of Costa Mesa, and Irvine.




Orange County CA Life Coach April Braswell. Life & Business Coaching in Newport Beach right by the juncture of Costa Mesa, and Irvine.


Looking to Hire April to speak at your Singles Event?

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Baby Boomer Dating Success – Dating Again After Divorce or Death of a Spouse


OK, so one of the most common characteristics of Single Boomers is we are either dating again after divorce or the death of a spouse. Certainly, as a group there is usually a need to Prepare the Wall with Divorce Support or Grief Support work in the Grief Recovery® Seminar first before Painting the House in Dating Again.

Once the Surface is Prepared, it is great to start painting your house: Get Out on More Dates.

Indeed, studies show time and again that the majority of married people met their spouse via people they knew in common. Through friends, through common associations, through mutual acquaintances.

So, what is the number one behavior which will then increase your chances of meeting your new love?

MEET MORE NEW PEOPLE

It will depend on the nature of your metro area for how easy it is to do that and what sort of events happen regularly which you can attend.

You want to combine a mix of events which are sort of a group association – like a Salsa or Classical Dance group which meets regularly – with one off events which you attend only periodically.

ASSOCIATIONS and GROUPS

This is your community, your tribe. You want to attend these regularly, just don’t let it be your only resource. These associations and groups – dance groups, singles groups, Bible Study/Church groups – can often become a bit insular. Sometimes new people attend their events. Sometimes only the same people have been attending for months.

Do attend such events, just not exclusively.

SPECIAL OCCASION EVENTS

Often a Special Occasion is observed by a series of public events. They are really sort of one off. St. Patrick’s Day. Gay/Lesbian Pride cocktails parties. Art Gallery openings. Scotch Tastings. Pinot Noir Tastings. Memorial Day BBQs.


Happy Dating and Relationships!

April Braswell

Boomer Dating Expert

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Dating Success Tips for Single Boomers: DO Expand Your Social Circle While Traveling

Awhile when I was blogging at my main blog I suggest to single boomers in particular that they needed to make concerted efforts to expand their social circles. Well, as we used to say when I was in Sales at Oracle, “I eat my own dog food.” Namely I am walking the walk and actually DOing what I suggest. Because as a baby boomer widow, I am right in there with you and your dating experience.

So, here I am in Southern California in The OC for the Memorial Day Weekend. I am visiting with family, which getting the 5 of us together is rare, the 6 of together all at once takes an act of God (Wedding or a Funeral). So, to me, our group altogether time is very precious and I guard it like some parents guard their time with their children (totally understandable).

However, while I travel, I do look to see if there are people with whom I can deepen the relationship with some face time (I feel so 80s when I say that, but it even more a relevant term in the 21st c with all the Social Media relationships we have.). I have 2 women from college and a lady from an internet class I am taking. The latter is the one I am most hoping and putting the steps in place that we will meet.

And you’re laughing wondering what that has to do with dating.

Well, two things.

It is the HABIT I form. Make the effort all the time as my NORMAL mode of operandi.

And… women are more likely to fix singles up than men are. Additionally, I am in the greater REGION of where I now live, more so than when I lived in Northern California. So if I actually met someone around here and we clicked, well, then we could actually reasonably date and form a relationship. NorCal to SoCal is a lot further than the OC is to Vegas.

Here is an area which I visit, mmm, like once a month or so on average. So, it is worth my sowing seed here for expanding my social circle and dating sphere to here as well.

One couple, it was the man who came from Central CA to the SF Bay Area regularly. He kept his eyes open when he traveled and pursued a lady in San Francisco. They married 2 years ago and just had their first child together last Summer. … Just so you know this DOES work and produce the results which you want.

In the mean time…

Happy Dating and Relationships,

April Braswell

Baby Boomer Dating Expert